Unfortunately, all of us face trials that no one else can help us with. There are problems that no one else can fix. We all know that there are lessons in life we can only learn through pain and suffering. As wives, there's nothing harder than watching our husbands face a trial that we cannot help them with. The feeling of being unable to lift some of your husband's pain or burden can make you restless and anxious.
So, what's a wife to do? The obvious answer doesn't always come to mind first- and that is to pray. Pray for your husband. Pray with your husband. Pray over your husband. Pray and ask God what your role is in his trial. How can you encourage him? Does he need more space right now? Does he need to be able to hold you closer?
Remember that God often allows trials in our lives to build character and strengthen our faith. James 1:2-3 says "Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way." (The Message Bible)
It is always painful to watch someone we love suffer but we have to remember that God will never leave us or forsake us. We need to mirror God's love to our husbands- never leaving them or forsaking them.
Do you remember the story of Job? He lost everything. His friends and even his own wife told him to curse God and be done with it. Do you want to be like Job's wife or like the Proverbs 31 wife? We cannot protect our husbands from ever facing a trial. But we can support them. We can love them. We can build them up in a prayer. We are their helpers- their God assigned Battle Buddies and together we can claim God's victory over every trial that we face.
If your husband is facing a trial, I encourage you to pray a prayer similar to this:
Father God, You alone can measure the weight that is on my husband's heart, mind and shoulders at this moment. I know that Your Word tells us in Isaiah 55:9 that Your ways are higher than our ways and Your thoughts are higher than our thoughts. I may not understand why my husband is facing the trial that He is facing, but You do. I trust that You have a plan for my husband's life. (Jer 29:11). I know that You love him and that You care about every detail of his life (Matt 10:31). So, I ask that You continue the good work You've begun in him (Phil 1:6) and use this trial to mature him and grow him into the man You want him to be. (James 1:2-3). Show me how I can be a helper to him. Make me sensitive to his needs and soften my heart towards him. Give me a forgiving spirit, should the stress of this trial cause him to act out in anger or frustration. Be the third chord in our marriage that binds us tighter together so that we cannot be broken (Ecc 4:12). Amen