I think when it comes to those we love, women are given a natural “gut instinct” when there is something bad looming around. This instinct wakes us up in the middle of the night and urges us to hit our knees in prayer for our deployed husband. This instinct begs us to talk to our children about what really happened at school. This instinct often tells us which route to take, which friends are a bad influence and when to go straight to the emergency room. Many of us have come to rely on those gut instincts. We trust them. Oh, if only those we loved trusted them, too.
We’ve all made major decisions as a family after carefully discussing our options, weighing the costs and praying for direction. But so often, especially in the military, a choice needs to be made immediately. And sometimes choices are made immediately that should have taken a few more days to mull over. As women, we tend to go with our gut. Men tend to rely on what they know. What they know and what we feel don’t always match up, tho. Proverbs 21:2 says that “Every way of a man is right in his own eyes.” Chances are, your husband isn’t making a choice that he isn’t confident in. Just as you don’t make choices that you don’t firmly believe in. So what do we do when a decision needs to be made and we don’t see eye to eye?
This is when prayer is of the utmost importance. As helpers, as wives, it’s our responsibility to relay to our husbands the things that God places on our hearts. There’s a reason God gave us feelings. They have a powerful place in our lives. And they’re good for more than just an excuse to eat chocolate. While our feelings can often get out of hand and can’t be trusted alone, when they’re paired with prayer and God’s discernment washes over us, they have an important place in our families, in our marriages and in our lives. Most other people, including our husbands, don’t trust our guts the way we do so prayer becomes the key.
When God gives you a gut feeling about something, it’s not your job to “open his eyes to the error of his ways”. If you share your feelings with him and he doesn’t agree, step back and pray. Here’s the hard part tho… you need to continue to be supportive. This is where I fail the most. I have the tendency to say “Fine, don’t listen to me… do it yourself!” And then when I’m right, the words “I told you so” are soooooo hard to keep from rolling off my lips. This brings us back to yesterday’s topic of praying for our husbands’ wives. When decisions are needing to be made, our attitude is just as important as our information. Our husbands need our support. They need to know that right or wrong, we’ll be by their sides. They need to know that when they make a bad decision, we will still love them and still trust them. We need to respect their position as the head of our house, appointed to that position by God.
Prayer should not just begin when a decision is on the table tho, my friends. Your husband is making decisions every day. He has to make choices regarding his career, his health, his time, his relationships, his safety. Some decisions are minor- what to eat, when to go to sleep, how to spend an evening. But some are of major importance- choosing a top choice for duty station, who to send out on a mission, or when to fire your weapon. We need to be in constant prayer that our husbands will seek God first in every decision they make. Prov 9:10 says “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.” Pray first for his walk with God. Pray that he will be in tune with the leading of the Spirit. Pray that when decisions need to be made quickly, your husband will hear from heaven immediately. Pray that when decisions can be made over time that you two will have unity and agreement in the decision.
We are all human and we will all make bad decisions. But if you’re in prayer for your husband and the decisions that he makes, even if he makes a bad one, you can know that you’ve done your part and that the next step for you is to continue encouraging him. You would want him to do the same for you. The last thing that we want to hear when we are wrong is “I told you so” or “You never get anything right.” Ladies, here is a chance for us to practice being our husbands’ biggest cheerleaders.
What decisions is your husband in the process of making today? How can you help encourage him. Be in prayer for him today.